Personally in my own marriage, one of the biggest struggles we have lately is over money.  My husband thinks that he works too hard to not have any, yet he comes from a background where his mother kept all the money from his father, and so on some level, he thinks that I am trying to get over or something.  It doesn’t happen all the time, but when something comes up and he feels he should have money, he panics to say the least.

Just this past week, my husband was asked what he would be getting me for my birthday.  Realizing that he hadn’t even thought about it and the fact that money is still tight, he knew he wasn’t really going to get me anything.  He politely told the woman, who by the way meant no harm by her inquiry, that he didn’t know.  He came home in a foul mood, and I couldn’t figure out what was going on, when I finally got it out of him, that he was upset that he couldn’t get me anything for my birthday.

Please understand that I am a very non-materialistic person.  The things that matter most to me are my family and friends.  I don’t really want for or ask for things, I am content just being.  Well, during this exchange he was nearly yelling at me.  I tried explaining to him that I knew this was frustrating him, but that coupling the fact that he couldn’t get me a birthday present, with yelling at me was just really not what I needed with my impending birthday.  He did snap out of it and realize what he had done.

The point is, there are truly a million different things that he could do to make my birthday special for me, without spending a dime.  He could make a romantic dinner, write me a letter, a poem, do something nice for me, or any number of other things.  The money is not what is important to me, hasn’t been since the day we met.  All I want is to be acknowledged and loved by those I love.  For me that means more than any million dollar item that he could buy.  Thoughtfulness, doesn’t have to cost money.