Marriage problems are not uncommon, but working together to come through them is truly possible.  The one thing that you must keep in mind is that you need to work through and talk through a problem, however then in order to move past it, you must resolve to tuck it away.  Many people make this mistake and it is perhaps one of the biggest things that can drive a marriage into the ground.  One partner rehashing the past over and over again, bringing it up and then throwing it their wife’s face every chance they get.  Unfortunately, even the best marriage counseling can’t help if you aren’t willing to let go of something.

Take my friend Alex.  He was married with two children, and suspected that his wife was cheating on him.  Once he confirmed it, he confronted her and they talked about it.  She agreed to stop seeing the man and work on their relationship and she told him where she was every minute of the day.  She wanted to make him feel secure, and to some extent it worked over time it looked as if things were going better, but Alex couldn’t let go of it.  Every opportunity, even in front of others, he would make little digs or throw it up in her face.  Finally, over time, they started to grow apart again and they couldn’t get past the affair from over a year earlier.

This is what happens to many people.  It is not that you should forget about it, but you can’t heal a situation if you can’t move past it.  Brining up the past over and over again, will never give your spouse the opportunity to change and grow.  You need to make a choice and decide whether you want to work on your relationship or move on.   Putting in the effort to address your marriage problems means taking the initiative to put the past behind you and move on to a better future.  Throwing the past up in someone’s face over and over again, truly accomplishes nothing, because you can’t change the past, but you can change the future.