1.  Living together, does not hold the same type of commitment that a marriage does.  Although, many people are not taking their marriage vows very seriously, there is a commitment to the other person in the eyes of God (depending on your beliefs), the eyes of your family and friends and the eyes of the law.

2.  Marriage secures certain rights and privileges that living together does not.  For instance, rights to assets accumulated, social security benefits, and health care coverage.  Living together does not normally allow for this type of sharing.

3.  It is better to be married with children involved.  This helps secure a better home life and family commitment that creates a more secure environment for the entire family.

4.  Marriage is a contract, a promise, that living together is not.  When marriage problems come up, even if you decided to split up, you must go through a whole process to get out of it.  Where couples who are living together can just pack and leave…end of story.

Remember every relationship is a commitment, but committing to marriage is one of the biggest gifts that you can give another person and they can give you.  The promise of loving each other through thick and thin, and a promise to be a lover, friend and life partner means that you at least intend for the relationship to last, and if you work hard at it, you can make it work.

So as a guy, you need to be aware of these differences and work to improve your relationship, which will in turn help you to improve your sex life.  This is why it is so important for you to really understand they way to build up your relationship to an intimacy level that allows you to experience the true nature of your feeling for each other which will, I assure you increase your libido and hers.    The following things can be little changes that can make a big difference.

1.  Call her.  Whether you are out with friends or on a break at work, just letting her know that you are thinking of her can really help things.

2.  Put her first.  When she gets home from work, get off the phone or shut off the TV.  Doing this will her see that she matters more than other things in your life.

3.  Communicate your needs, but also allow her to communicate hers.  Use the echo without sounding like a parrot.  Let her know what you are hearing her say, so that she can clarify if need be.

4.  Don’t forget that you love her.  Always act lovingly, kind and respectful.  Don’t yell, tantrum or blame.  If you occasionally mess up, be sure to apologize, before she asks you to.

Alex says, “I love my wife, but she repulses me.  I don’t find her sexually attractive, and quite honestly making love to her is really something that I am just not compelled to do anymore.” He tells that they have a child together and that he doesn’t want to leave her, but he is constantly being lured in by thinner more attractive women, and is afraid that one day he will give in to these urges.

Now many people may believe that Alex’s complaints are merely superficial, however with the added weight have come changes in Sara’s behavior also, so this is actually a realistic concern.  Realize that I am not saying that gaining a few pounds is a reason to leave your spouse, but it can cause issues in a relationship.

The important thing to realize is that as long as there is not an underlying health issue, your wife may be putting on weight because she is unhappy.  She may be depressed or frustrated, and not necessarily with you but with her life.  It is important that together you work on this issue and improve your communication with each other to get to the bottom of the real issues.

Be careful not to criticize the weight gain or her physical appearance, but to let her know that you are sensing that she is unhappy and that you would like to work on this together.  She will not only appreciate your support, but by taking this approach you can also help to improve your marriage.

Those couples have faced the obstacles of going broke, of infidelity, of anger and frustration, the absence of sex, the changing of roles, the child rearing years, the empty nest syndrome, and the retiring spouse.  They understand what you are going through, just ask them, because surely any couple who has stood the test of time, has truly emerged a healthier and happier couple, cemented by instead of being ripped apart by those harrowing life experiences.

Understand that the expression that “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, is indeed true, not only of individual life experiences, but those that you face as a couple as well.  Growth comes from problem solving together, by recommitting to your spouse over and over again.  Understand that what ever the problems in your marriage currently, that you can turn things around, make a change, and work together towards resolution.  Open your heart, and in turn your spouse’s heart will open too.  Remember the commitment that you made to each other and the love that you once shared, even if it seems far removed from your heart right now, and find a way to reconnect and rebuild.  Working through your marriage problems together will help you experience a love connection like you have never before experienced, a deep emotional connection that just continues to grow over time.

Well, maybe this is you.  If it is, before you think about leaving your spouse and moving on, there are some things that you really need to think about.  First off, most second marriages work out worse than the first ones.  Secondly, remember that commitment, it didn’t say, until I am bored and tired of my spouse.  Marriage is a commitment, one that is meant to last a lifetime.  So if you are thinking about having an affair, think about using some of that energy, zest and romance that you have stored up on winning back your mate.

Don’t allow your heart to wander.  Find love with your husband again, and do it now.

1. Focus on the good in your spouse and in your life together.  Sometimes a new perspective can make all the difference.

2. Treat your spouse as if he were someone new.  Act as if you are dating for the first time, how would you treat him.

3. Dress and act to impress.  Just as you would do when you are courting someone, come to bed looking and smelling good.  Give him a long kiss in the morning (after you brush) and flirt with him the whole day through.  Make him know that you want him and the anticipation of what will come later on, will have you both excited to be together.

Love is not something that just happens, it is grown and cultivated.  So nurture, yourself, your spouse and your marriage and watch it blossom into something you cherish.

Working together on your marriage may mean compromise, however it should not require you to check your own spirit at the door just to co-habitate with your spouse.  If you are doing this, you are living a lie.  Many men especially feel that it is best to avoid the argument or heated discussion in order to keep the peace.  In the short term, this method may be working, however in the long run, it will more than likely create marriage problems and a deep seeded resentment in the other person.

So don’t completely sacrifice yourself for the sake of the relationship.  Instead try and communicate your feelings and work to find a middle ground, and if at first you don’t succeed, then keep trying because marriage is a lifetime commitment and one that should not be taken lightly.

This does not mean that you need to squash your feelings or not talk about the things that are bothering you to save the other person’s feelings.  The reason for the change in the wording is very simple; When we feel that we are being blamed for something, we feel as if we are under attack, and so we defend.  When a person is defensive, they are ready to leap on every word, without listening for the true meaning underlying what is being said.  Once the words…you do this…come out, you may as well end the discussion right there, because the person is already on the defensive and no matter how nicely worded a war will most likely ensue.

Remember that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make a marriage fail.  Working together for the greater good of the relationship, really needs to be the goal of both the husband and the wife, and the key to it all is effective communication without blame.

Understand, that if you find your marriage is in this reconnection phase, that this is an opportunity for rebirth.  An opportunity to start anew rediscovering each other in ways that you never have before.  Just because you have been together for a while, doesn’t mean that this will be comfortable, but think of it as a way to court all over again.  Date, bring her flowers, and listen to what she says.  This is an opportunity to rediscover your love with this new person, and since you are starting fresh it is a new day.  Don’t be resentful of the changes you see, but embrace them and instead of seeing these changes as having taken something from you consider it as if you are getting to know someone new, because in essence, you truly are.

I write this especially for all those who are having to reconnect after separation due to the war.  Keep in mind that you are returning a new person, and your wife is probably a different person also, so don’t expect everything to be the same as it was.  It can still be good, just not exactly the same.

The top 5 female erogenous zones

The neck

Soft kissing in the region of the neck, the area from the shoulder to just below the ear can send chills up and down her spine.  This is perhaps one of the most sensitive areas of the female body and you will find that using your tongue and lips to massage her neck, that the rest of her anatomy will also respond to these sensations.

The ear lobes

Although, not a turn on for every woman, many women are very turned on by having someone suck on their  ear lobes . While you’re there you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact is something that most women really like in addition to kissing her, this give you another way to get close face to face.

The nipples

Another extremely sensitive area, the breasts are very simply caressed either with your fingers or tongue.  You will find that stimulating this area will arouse her in ways that you could only imagine.

The belly button

Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her G spot.

The G Spot

Now, keep in mind that not all women have a G-spot, so it is very important to stimulate a woman in other ways.  The G spot is located on the roof of the vagina, on the belly side and is about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin.  It is located about 4 inches in.  If you are having trouble locating it, you can ask her if she has already located it and she can point you in the right direction.  It is important to realize that even if you don’t locate the G-spot you can still please her and get her to orgasm over and over by incorporating some stimulation of the other erogenous zones of the body.

Having a good sexual relationship is an important part of any marriage, and communication is definitely the key to having the best sex life possible.

It is a known fact that you as well as they will change, in some ways for the better and in some ways for the worse, this is probably where the marriage vows began.  Choosing the right partner is important and choosing them for the right reasons is even more important than that.

Many couples marry and then realize that they got more or less what they bargained for.  For our purposes, however, we are talking about making the most out of the relationship you are in.  Divorce in many cases is just a way to bail and move on.  With the right amount of respect for each other as well as creating a friendship, most relationships can be salvaged.  Here are some tips to moving your relationship in a positive direction:

1.  Show respect for each other.  Common courtesy’s like please and thank you go a long way.  Acknowledging the other person and the things they do well, is another way to show respect for your partner.  Many spouses say their partner doesn’t show them respect and usually this is a two way street, so if you want to get more respect then give more of it.

2.  Put your spouses needs on the top of your list.  Many times we get wrapped up in the day to day things that we have to do, but it is a good tip to take time out each day to do something just for your spouse, whether it is help around the house or leave them a note.  These little things can make a big difference in helping to correct marriage problems.

3.  Focus on the positive.  Changing your focus is a big step in turning things around.  Toss the negative thoughts from your mind.  If necessary, write two lists, one positives about your spouse, and one negatives about your spouse.  Then tear the negative list into little shreds and put it in the trash.  Now put the positive list in your pocket to periodically look at throughout the day, this helps reinforce the positive thoughts.

4.  Don’t give up.  Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches.  Take the time to put forth the effort and you will see your relationship flourish.  Remember there is a lot more communication in what you do than in what you say, so be sure to try and turn things around with actions, not just words.