Marriage Counseling Alternatives for Men
Save Marriage from Marriage Problems-Marriage Advice
Used Your Program for My Courtship
Author: Guest8 Oct
I ordered your men’s CD’s a few years ago when I was looking for a second wife. I listened carefully to your advice and used it during our courtship. It set the standard for what our relationship would be. My wife to be could not stay away from me even though she wanted to. This was because of the hurt she still felt from her first marriage problems.
It has not been perfect, but very close. I have fallen of the wagon once or twice. I have re-visited your teachings and modified my behavior. I only worry about MY actions and she meets me step for step.
I have adopted our 4 children and we are setting the example of what marriage can be. I make love to her emotionally everyday, yes everyday! The sex takes care of itself. I know that my daughters will accept nothing less in their marriages to come.
A co-worker asked me for some marriage advice and I gave him some. I had almost forgotten where I had learned this information. I really see your teachings now as just part of me. Of course I directed him to your website.
Our anniversary is coming up next month and I can’t wait. We start planning our anniversaries 2 to 3 months ahead of time. While I have not thought of you for a few years, your training is felt by my family daily. –Brendan C.
I Didn’t Want to Have My Parents Marriage
Author: Guest25 Sep
I think there are no accidents in life. I had heard about your marriage counseling alternative “Light Her Fire” for two years from different sources before I finally decided that I’d take the gamble with my time and money and get the CD program. I wasn’t in a serious relationship at that time but I thought that if I learned more about how to relate better with women, I would have a better chance of finding the right person for me. I was twenty-six years old at that time and never had the feeling that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with any woman. My observations of my parents staying together in a loveless marriage, filled with anger and accusations, made me what I thought was a confirmed bachelor. I never knew that a union between two people could bring happiness. When I learned how easy it was to have a life with a woman who was caring and supportive, my anger and resentment of women disappeared. With my newfound understanding, I had the space to allow someone to come into my life. It is now three years later now and I’m engaged to be married to the most fantastic woman. I now know ways to avoid the pitfalls that my parents never knew, thanks to your program. I’m giving a set to them for their 50th Anniversary. Hopefully you can end their marriage problems and teach “old dogs new tricks!”- Jack F.
A Sense of Humor
Author: Dr. Ellen21 Jul
What would we do without a sense of humor? Humor can see us through the worst of times and make the good times even better. For most women, a sense of humor is one of the most valuable traits a man can possess.
My husband has a very funny, wry sense of humor, and that’s one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He has always made me laugh, especially when a sense of humor is needed in a particularly upsetting situation.
Many times, the element of surprise is very funny. Mason said that one night he decided to change his position in bed one hundred and eighty degrees. He put his feet where his head normally would be and his head where his feet usually were. His wife came from the bathroom into the dark bedroom and climbed into bed just as she did every night and talked to him a little. Then she rolled over, thinking she would snuggle up to his warm chest, but instead she found herself embracing a foot. She was still giggling when she got up the next morning.
Wade walked into the bedroom completely naked with a paper bag over his head. In a serious tone he asked his wife, “Would you still recognize me if you couldn’t see my face?” “Alicia just cracked up,” he said. “She couldn’t stop laughing for at least an hour.”
Murray was able to begin Jana’s day with a smile. As soon as the alarm rang, he climbed over her to get out of bed. When she asked what he was doing, he said, he said that every day he got out of bed on the left side, which was very lonely. Today, he decided to get up on the right side, where it wasn’t so lonely. Jana laughed and told me she thought about it the whole day.
These examples are funny because of the spirit in which they’re given. But there is a big difference between that kind of humor and a cutting remark that is cruel and insensitive.
Donald explained that before “Light Her Fire,” (your marriage counseling alternative)Jill was usually the brunt of his jokes, “I’d poke fun at her cooking, driving, interests, and anything else I could think of when we were around other people. Now I realize that what I was doing was really mean.” He said that the previous Saturday night, they had had friends over, and he had consciously passed up something that before would have been the brunt of some cruel joke. “Jill had taken a class on ESP,” he said. “Our friends seemed very interested in what she was saying about it, and instead of doing my usual, which would have been something like, ‘Yeah, next week we’re going to put her on The Twilight Zone,’ I put my arm around her when she was talking. When she finished, I said, ‘I’m really proud that Jill has learned so much.’ She beamed and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Later, she told me how surprised she was that I hadn’t made fun of her. What she didn’t know was I had decided I was never going to do that to her again.”
Here are some guidelines to use in judging whether something is funny or not.
*It’s funny if you’re sure it’s something she’s not sensitive about
*It’s funny if you are not making fun of her weaknesses.
*It’s funny if it doesn’t cause her pain.
*It’s funny if you’re not revealing something she told you in confidence
*It’s funny if it doesn’t humiliate her.
Do you have a funny story to tell? I’d love to hear about your sense of humor.-Dr. Ellen
Turning a Woman Off
Author: Dr. Ellen21 Jun
You may have seen him, in restaurants, in shops, in parking lots, the man who compromises the woman he is with by touching her in a way that she should never be subjected to in public. Intimate touching should only be done on intimate terms, at intimate times, and in an intimate setting. Women unanimously agree that they can’t stand when a man grabs at their “private parts.” To tell you the truth, I was amazed to find out how many women endure this kind of behavior from the men in their lives, this is certainly a cause of many marriage problems.
Erica explained how much she cared for her fiancé, but his actions in public were upsetting her. “We’d be going up an escalator, and he’d grab my rear end and squeeze it. Even though I would tell him to stop it, he would just laugh. I know it may sound crazy, but I actually began avoiding going to a mall where there was an escalator. But that didn’t stop him. We’d be out with another couple, and out of the blue, he’d squeeze my breasts right in front of them. I’d die of embarrassment, and he’d just stand there with a smirk on his face. He didn’t care where we were or how many people were around when he’d pinch or poke at intimate parts of my body. I tried to tell him how I felt and asked how he’d like it. You know what his response was? ‘Go ahead, I’d love it. Make in a sex object and see how much I’d object.’”
That is definitely a difference between men and women. Women hate to be treated as sex objects, while men sometimes fantasize about it. To a woman, it’s the ultimate insult. True love doesn’t embarrass or humiliate the person you’re with. If what you are doing to her is really what you’d like done to you, respect that she has different needs and different turn-ons. Respect her wishes as you would want her to respect yours. If you were a man who objected to your wife dressing in a provocative manner in public, and she ignored your feelings, you’d be embarrassed to be with her. There is not a woman alive who does not want the world to know that the man she is with respects her. You have to find out what feels good to her and what doesn’t feel and adjust your actions accordingly. That’s a sign of a good lover.
Creating a perfect balance between strength and tenderness is usually not a talent most men are born with. It takes time to develop, but it’s a goal you can continually strive to obtain. By carefully observing the reactions your mate has to your behavior, you’ll get a clearer picture of which part you need to concentrate on more.
Have you been guilty of turning a woman off? Are you willing to share your side of it? I’d love to hear from you.- Dr. Ellen