What many people don’t realize is that life is what you make of it. This is true in a marriage as well. Living with another person is never simple. There are different beliefs, differences in opinion, not to mention the stresses of day to day living which tend to creep into your marriage and cause marriage problems when you are not looking. Some of the mistakes that cause people to seek out marriage counseling can be more simply solved by looking at your relationship and assessing what it really happening. The following is a guide to communication to help you realize and change your communication to better serve a healthier relationship.

1. The parent-child marriage. This is an issue in which one partner is acting as the grown up and the other is acting as the child. Many times the relationship doesn’t start out this way, however over the years one partner may take over the dominant role causing the other to become more submissive. These relationships don’t usually succeed, because one feels the pressure of always being in charge, while the other one feels like the inferior partner, always being told what to do and where to go. This can really hurt your relationship.

2. Parent-parent Marriage - This where both parties take on both roles and there is a major power struggle in these households. Marriages like this tend to involve a lot of fighting and therefore this is just counterproductive.

3. Child-child Marriage - In this marriage, everyone is being selfish and trying to get what is their’s the important thing to remember is that this is also counterproductive, and causes a lot of fighting, but usually is exhibited in passive aggressive behaviors as opposed to actual confrontational fighting.

4. Adult-Adult Marriage - This is the ideal relationship for a married couple, and also prevents more marriage problems. In a relationship in which two people are working together and meeting each other’s needs and their own makes for the healthiest type of marriage.

I must admit that when I first heard about this program I was skeptical.  My wife and I had been married for 15 years, and I really thought that it was time to throw in the towel.  We had very much become two entities co-existing on the same plain.  We saw each other, we occasionally would give each other a little peck on the cheek, but we were not a married couple we had been reduced to being roommates.  I had too much respect for myself to cheat on my wife, although, I had begun thinking about it, and eventually just thought that divorce was going to be inevitable.

Well, obviously my wife and I both realized that we were heading down the path of no return, with a non-existant sex life and barely talking at all, my wife had the good sense to get the program that changed our marriage forever.

I knew that we hadn’t been passionate about each other but I wasn’t really sure why.  I didn’t even realize how powerful just kissing, I mean really kissing my wife could be.  Since instituting the 10 second kiss into our marriage several times a day, the passion is flowing again.  Honestly, I thought that getting my marriage back on track was going to be near impossible, however in just a few weeks we are having more sex, more laughter and just honestly enjoying each other’s company again.  Believe me the kissing works as to other things in this incredible program.  I just can’t believe that a marriage that I was about to throw in the towel on, has done such a complete turn around.  I feel like a newlywed all over again, thanks Dr. Ellen, you have been an amazing catalyst to getting our marriage back on track.